7 Days

What is a week. 

What is time.

One week left of 25inchange.
7 more days of eating a cup of rice and beans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
7 more days to hopefully gain a total of 75 partners in changing the world (I need 30 more).
7 more days...7 more days of operating in a reality of hunger.

In 7 days I will be able to enjoy a glass of orange juice, a slice of swiss cheese, a wedge of avocado, and green bell peppers to my hearts content. I cannot wait.

25inchange.org/advocate/caitlyn-moses

25inCHANGE

Change how we EAT. Change how we THINK. Change how we LIVE.
Today is day 11. 11 days of meals because of sponsors who decided to change. 812 people have decided to CHANGE. 
Now the exciting part-14 more days to go. 14 more days in which God will continue to move. Of this I am certain.
$25 donates 100 meals to kids in India and the Congo. IF you are thinking your contribution doesn't make a difference think again. IT DOES. When one becomes a few and a few become many the world can change. 

25inchange.org/advocate/caitlyn-moses

Boat Rides

Life has become the complete unknown surrounded by more unknown. 

Soccer: no more. 

School: no more. 

My north star that has been guiding my life is gone.

Now, picture with me a boat. Not any ordinary boat, but a boat that represents you.

Do you have it? You, as a boat?

Ok, I want to tell you about my boat.

Close your eyes...figuratively, because you'll have to keep reading.

I am a row boat. The one that is a rounded triangle with two wooden benches across the middle. Fairly plain and simple. My boat sits in the middle of a quiet and serene river. A river that moves at the pace of its own leisure. 

A boat that floats along, but my row boat can also be propelled when needed by quick movements of two oars. My boat is also useful in moving people to and fro. It is not flashy and tends to draw little attention to its self. Romantic dates come to mind when I picture my boat, and the idea that it carries new found lovers. I like that. I like to think that a row boat stewards love. 

So why a boat? Because as mentioned above, I have lost my north star, and most boats navigate by way of the north star. Even tiny row boats need to have direction. 

Think about your boat. I'd like to hear who you are as a boat. If we are friends, text me. If not, leave a message here on my page.

Ivory and Ebony

Stuffy and stodgy theology. Ivory towers filled with books, that when opened scatters dust to every nook and cranny of the mind. Not only does it cloud the mind but it also suffocates the heart. Write papers as if the heart isn't attached-be completely intellectual but don't engage any sort of practicality. Through my collegiate education I have attempted to balance the two. Here is an attempt to balance. 

Job’s view on the afterlife is filled with language that is morose and has thick undertones of dread.  The stark language of Job uses such words as deep shadows, the pit, no return, and death with a gloomy outlook. This leads the reader to believe that the afterlife is an unfortunate thing, but  God rebuts in His own fashion with one powerful statement to be found within the book of Job. Job and his three friends make a lot of claims about death and its finality but their knowledge is limited and they can only see one side of the coin.  

The evidence that has led to this conclusion can be found in a word study through the book of Job that includes these words: Sheol, Abaddon, death, grave, pit, no return, and deep shadow. Often man longs to fill in the gaps of knowledge with an understanding based upon our earthly wisdom. More often than not this wisdom is lacking and needs to be refined by the one who gives wisdom. The book of Job is the story of a man who walks through suffering that most are lucky enough to avoid. This suffering is to the very core of his being. The book walks through his journey as he speaks his theology and thoughts. His three friends step beside him and offer their biased theology to Job. This was a theology based upon a firm foundation that had been laid before them. A foundation that said wicked people received what they deserved and the righteous were made holy. If Job was encountering suffering he must have been wicked. A+B=C, that was the theology of the time, yet in Job’s mind this did not make sense. Here you see a man wrestling with God. One of the toughest thoughts to grapple with in the midst of suffering is death and what is to come after. After looking at all the words that are accompanied by death I have come to the conclusion that Job was trying to find a black cat in a dark room with tinder and flint though by no fault of his own.  “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…”

I truly applaud Job and his fight, but the most endearing section is Job 38.17 when God steps in and says, “Have death’s gates been revealed to you; can you see the gates of deep darkness?”

There are many points to which one could argue about what Job thought about the afterlife but when it is all said and done God’s word is final and concrete. God is also not asking us to give up the search, but rather to have a humble curiosity. Ask the questions, but never expect the answers to be a firm foundation with which to set a house upon.  

Some do not appreciate balance and in trying to jump over that hurdle I have found myself tripping over and over. Tripping is a good word because it insinuates stumbling but it also conveys the aspect of falling flat upon ones face.

Today I finish one of the classes in which I feel like I flounder over and over again in. I sight in on the hurdle, I run with all my might, I jump-and I feel my toe catching the top. I am mid-air, I cannot save myself, down I go. I have gotten back up after each hurdle, but it's the end of the semester-I have lost most motivation to fall on my face, again. Yet, here I am, one last time. One last test. 

Here we go.

+Ecclesiastes 12

Infused

When one thinks of Christmas what comes to mind? Cheerful music, trees, a jolly man who sits on a red velvety chair? 

What about suffering? What about pain? What about brokenness? What about the air of death that seems infused into every breath?

Ancient History seems to be just that. Ancient, old, and dead. As stories are revealed to us, they are just words-never a person, never a story, never alive.  I challenge you to change your point of view. This morning at DCC there was a challenge. 

Pastor Mike opened up with Matthew 1.1-21. Go on, open up your bible, see where he took us today. 

If you are wondering, yes-he did read every name you see there.  Names mean nothing to us these days. Genealogies have lost their power, blood lines are something of the past, but not to the Israelites. Each of those names has a narrative that is woven through out the Bible, and those reading the book of Matthew around the time it was written would have a beautiful understanding of Jesus' lineage. They would understand that the ancestors of Jesus had lives that were continually botched. Lives full of suffering. Lives full of being oppressed and of oppressing. They would have been living in the fruits of the sins of a nation and the darkness that ensues from it. Through out their narrative the Israelis cried out to God, asking for deliverance, for protection, for safety from the events transpiring around them though they were often down the path of destruction because of their own volition.  They shouted out their resignation, their contrition, their brokenness.  Sin and darkness has an overpowering aroma that seems to taint the living, to overpower the living.  

They lived amidst death, yet the prophets spoke of a coming King who would deliver the people from death. Imagine being in a desert without water, but being promised that a well is around the next sand dune. There would be a flame of longing ignited within the chest of those who are thirsty. They would pant and groan for the water to come with every fiber of their being.

The suffering that the world endures is one that pushes people to extremes. They long for that well of fresh water around the corner. Those who Matthew was writing to saw the words behind the words. They knew suffering and they saw the words that pointed to the truth that the King had come. That is what Christmas means to this world. It means that a new creation has been brought forth and given life in the form of an infant who would one day bring death into the grave with resounding finality. With His first cry, darkness shuddered because it felt the air in this world change. The fight had begun. We live in an already but not yet place in time-one where we are already brought out of the grave, but not yet in its completeness. We still see death. We still breath in death, but we also can breath in life and speak life and move in life. 

This Christmas, recognize that the wheel goes round and we will be back at this place a year from now, but also recognize God's sovereignty in placing a time for the world to come back to Him. This is a time of year to dig and to breath life and to recognize the breath of life God Himself has given.   

When we celebrate Christmas can we remember the oppression that we are free from?

+Daniel 9.20-24

Santiago's

This morning started as many do when Alison and I go adventuring. 

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

Back and forth, back and forth-if you are picturing the vultures in The Jungle Book you have a pretty fair image.

We hippity-hop to Franklin (my car-I believe I may be too attached, but I will deal with that later). Today, my turn to drive. I jump on 6th and begin venturing East. As Franklin is cruising, I pick out a beginning end point. Santiago's! Brilliant idea, if I do say so myself, what goes better with an adventure than a tasty breakfast burrito. We arrive, and much to my dismay-the breakfast burritos are ALL GONE! Though discouraged, we find a way to alleviate our downtrodden spirits. Well, maybe I find a way to brighten my day and Alison just joined in for the fun. Out comes the camera.

Walk a mile in some one else's shoes. Life will look a lot different in a few miles. Even in a few steps.

The eyes are the window into the soul. Often holding the answer: "where is my joy to be found."

 Share your story so others may come and walk in your shoes. How else can we navigate the dark waters of this world?

At this point, Franklin beckons and we are off again. Further down 6th and towards Speer. The next location comes to mind. I have driven by this park at least 15 times and am always curious as to its purpose. It is a park dedicated to The Hungarian Uprising. 

 The whole creation waits breathless with anticipation for the revelation of God’s sons and daughters.

Romans 8.19

Memorial's-places where in our lives the experience only lasts for a breath. Yet, those waiting to be remembered, lived out their final breath.

 I think the lion may win this staring contest.

There's a storm a brewin'

And so concluded the adventure.

+Romans 8.18-39

Listen to Your Heart

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Round and round the clock goes in a perpetual rhythm that doesn't slow or alter. Time is a rather fickle beast.

This morning I woke up with 5 hours. 5 hours until my life took a turn towards the unknown.

Here is a list of quality questions I have been asked by those I hold most dear in the last 12 hours.

"How are you today?"

"Have you talked to the people you are suppose to?"

"Where do you believe that you would flourish?"
"What does your heart want?"
"Are you afraid?"

Answers:

-I am...

-Working on it

-I will flourish in either, it just depends on what I want to flourish in

-My heart wants to hide in a corner and cry

-I am not only afraid, I am terrified

Here is a list of questions my brain has been asking me since about day 1 of this adventure.

"Where is Pennsylvania?"
"How do you even spell Pennsylvania?"
"Can I do this?"
"Am I good enough?"
"What do I want?"
"Could I actually get into the program?"
"Can I endure more soccer?"
"Is that what I want my masters to be in?"
"Will I be forgotten?"
"Will I lose God or will I find more of Him?"

Do not worry, I figured out where Pennsylvania is and I only get the red squiggly under it  occasionally. I don't know if I can do this. I am quite uncertain if I am good enough. I want to share life with people that I really care about, in the present and in the future. I could really come to love those out in Pennsylvania (actually, I know I would) but I really love the people I have here. I love Denver. I love Colorado. I love not having soccer.  I know I won't be forgotten. I know God is guiding my steps. I know that the answer to this is yes or yes.

As 5 hours became 4, and 4 became 3 I was stuck. Sitting in Franklin Andi says, "why don't you draw something?" (Why don't you function in the way that you function best? Why don't you function as poetry? I am inserting my own understanding of her question) I am not sure why I didn't think about it sooner. I am thankful for Andi. I sat at the kitchen table, with a canvas and all the tools I needed, save one...

I love my dad. I am the spitting image of him. Hold up a mirror to him and you would see me. I am rather unsure of why I waited until this juncture to talk to him, but I do believe that it came to me here and now for a reason. What we discussed brought this image to mind. Two circles: well I think circles-though they are a bit more abstract. In one circle's center is a calm, is the certain. It is soccer and school surrounded by the complete unknown of Pennsylvania. The other circle doesn't have a center. It really isn't even a circle. This is the image I needed to begin understanding what my heart wanted to say.

So after the phone call to my Dad, insert about 2 hours and a painting later and I have my answer.
The beautiful thing about art is that it speaks the words that we don't yet understand.

The painting began to take form. What began as the uncertain center of 'no' flipped in an instant to the center of a Pennsylvania 'yes'. When it hit my eyes I knew. As backwards as this sounds-Pennsylvania is safe. Soccer is safe. School is safe. I am tired of playing it safe. I am ready to step outside the rules of this world that so many speak of. Maybe the rules of this world are not the rules with which the Kingdom will be found. Maybe I am a fool. I pray God can use a fool. Adventure is out there and I am ready to find it.

"As you look at the day before you, you see a twisted, complicated path, with branches going off in all directions. You wonder how you can possibly find your way through that maze. Then you remember the One who is with you always, holding you by your right hand. You recall My promise to guide you with My counsel, and you begin to relax. As you look again at the path ahead, you notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring your view. You can see only a few steps in front of you, so you turn your attention more fully to Me and begin to enjoy My Presence. The fog is a protection for you, calling you back into the present moment. Although I inhabit all of space and time, you can communicate with Me only here and now. Someday the fog will no longer be necessary, for you will have learned to keep your focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you." Jesus Calling, November 16th.



+1 Corinthians 13.12+Proverbs 3.5-6+Jeremiah 29.11